I am an adult now.

Everyone is sick in my house. Me, my husband, and my baby. And every time the baby wakes up miserable and needing help, and my husband can barely move, and I can barely move, but I'm moving anyway, I think, 

"I guess I'm an adult now". And every time I have to go to work, even though I am sick, because my husband's sicker and not therefore able to work, I think, "I am definitely an adult now". 

I spoke to my friend about this yesterday. She pointed out that I was an adult before I got married. That an adult is someone who can take care of themselves. This is more than being an adult, it's being a mother and a wife. Being someone who can take care of others under all circumstances. This is like, what its all about.

This friend and I were students together in Seminary. There we learned that moments like this are character-defining. That this is when the cameras start rolling on that film which will be played back to you after arriving in the next world. These times of testing, of being pushed to your perceived limits, are why we came to this world. Believe it or not, comfort and satisfaction is not the goal. Growth is the goal.

As such, I am able to know, even when its hard, that this is valuable and I am being challenged, not punished.  

I just need to keep asking G-d for his assistance and healing. It really works, and it's also good for me to remind myself of exactly on Whom I am relying.