I'm a Quitter.

the most tsnius one I could find (that alone says something)

Once upon a time, I was an avid magazine reader. My mainstays were Self, Lucky, and Allure. Unlike my friend, Alice.


 Alice was a confident, stylish, talented grad student who had spent a lot of time figuring things out. One day, she said to me 'You shouldn't read magazines. They're not good for you.' 
I smiled and nodded while thinking, 'well, Lucky is just shopping, Allure is just makeup, and Self, well, Self is practically therapy! Vogue or Cosmo are the damaging ones, probably. Not that I read them anyway.'
One day, I asked Alice (just for clarification): 'Did you mean...all magazines? What about Self or Shape? They are all about health and self-esteem.' 
She said: 'Even Self and Shape.'
I thought: 'That's a little extreme.'


But Alice was right. I don't deny that women's magazines are fun to read. But I don't feel good after reading them. I feel conflicted. To this day, I never know if I should be eating whole wheat, or avoiding processed grain all together, or if I should be lining my top lid, or bottom, or both, and if that should be in black, navy, or brown liner. Liquid liner, pencil, or powder with a thin, wet brush? 


Why do I hesitate to decide? Because I have been told to go left, to make that right, to drive to the dead end and turn around, and every other direction possible, by some article at some point in my mag-reading years. They vacillated between
 'willowy!' and 'athletic!'
 and 'bangs!' and 'no bangs!' 
so many times, that sometimes (more than I'd like) I do the same in my head when it comes to menial decisions about what to eat, how to exercise (running is good! running is bad!), and how to make myself presentable. 


I never sat there and thought 'gee, I wish I looked like Kate Moss.' The damage wasn't that obvious. It gave me a subtle message that I don't know what's right, but They Do. And that I needed them to tell me. If I could write my own issue now, the headlines would read:


"Makeup Technique: Determined by Your Unique Face! Your face is unprecedented in human history (even if you are an identical twin)!"


"Nutrition Rules: Relative to Your Unique Body and Lifestyle!"


"Wear Clothes That You Love! What Do You Naturally Gravitate Toward?"


That would not be good for sales.